As I sit here outside on my back porch listening to dogs bark and walk around, while listening to Brad Paisley "I thought I Loved You Then". I sit here and I think about my life and where it's headed to, I realize that I have no direction in where I'm going, it's almost as if I'm all over the place at once. I don't know where I'm going, it's a little scary at times because I'm not exactly sure where I am going to end up 10 years. That really frightens me too. There are so many things I wan to accomplish before I die, I just know where I should start. I am tired of my life being so boring and repetitive, I want to get out of that routine and do something different and for myself, I'm just not quite sure how to start. I feel like I'm stuck. I don't maybe this happens to everybody once they hit 20, they have no idea what to do next because it's exactly how I feel
I gazed to my left and I saw the moon just rising, it's almost full roundness and how it's a light yellow color rather than white as it normally is. I see that moon has it's purpose it know it's purpose, I wish I was the moon at times beautiful and always bright no matter how small or big it is, it seems as if it is content. The moon knows what to do and where it's going and how it's beginning it doesn't need no one to tell it what to do or nothing. I want to be like the moon some day having a purpose in life and knowing where to go and how to begin. Maybe in time I will find out. I think all I'll need is a little patience and try to part as best as I could. If I see signs I am going to risk it.
I believe fear has been a factor in my life with taking chances and just letting go under the right circumstances of course not the stupid common sense ones. I've missed opportunities out of fear and thinking too much. I might just let go of that fear and risk something for my own sake, maybe then I'll get a sign and knowing where to go. Life is a journey for everyone, we choose our own paths and make our destinies fulfilled, I know I may not know what exactly that might be, but I have a feeling with this change coming. That maybe I will soon enough. It's okay to have boring moments in life but not every single day, this routine has got to stop and something MUST change and something will.
Goodnight
-Vixen
